It really is just always everything all the time I guess 🐝

009Happy

I don't think I'm intending to write this post with a particular moral or conclusion in mind, as I definitely would have in the past. Someone already did that for me a little bit, apart from anything else. It's just a ramble, and I don't know how it'll turn out.

Tonight I'm feeling happy, and I just want to write about that. No morals, no hidden messages, no intentions.

Just honest happiness.

- - - - -

It has come to pass recently that I've been involved in a number of lovely Schemes.

I'm not gonna share precise details of the schemes, as I think that would somewhat ruin the bit. Also, I do not want to accidentally take any credit for masterminding those schemes. I was always just a grunt, a redshirt, and happy to play that role.

...'cause it allowed me to observe two people I care about very much doing their utmost to make eachother happy.

One of those two has recently gone overseas, along with my dear girlfriend.

I had a conversation with said gorgeous girlfriend a few days prior, remarking on some time spent with one of those friends over the past couple weeks, often in relation to a particular scheme. I said something along the lines of,

"We used to talk a lot more, and that all kinda trailed off in the last few months, y'know, with how everything has been going. I was worried at first that whatever friendship we had was just... gone. That it wasn't something that was meant to last, just a stepping stone. Eventually I became resigned to that rather than worried about it, and I accepted that I'd played a part and this is how things are now."

(I know, that doesn't seem very happy. Bear with me.)

"But then, when I was spending time with her these last few days? It's been really nice. We went on a couple little adventures, we walked around the city, we talked just like we used to. It made me realise that whatever connection we had wasn't gone at all - just buried a bit maybe, under all the tiredness we're all going through. And... I'm really happy to have realised that."

Aforementioned girlfriend gave me a sidewards hug as we were walking at this point, and she was happy that I was happy. It was nice.

And then yesterday morning, the four of us woke up at 5:30am (or thereabouts) to go to the airport.

We got there, and each said our goodbyes - two of us staying, and two of us leaving for a week or so.

The friend who stayed commented on the symmetry of it later - myself and my girlfriend, and her and her... puppy?. That made me happy too, in a way that surprised me. I was happy we each had a person to care about so deeply. I was happy we were lucky enough to do that as part of a wider little family as well.

- - - - -

As we were walking back to her car, I suggested we get breakfast on the way, which she enthusastically agreed to.

Breakfast was lovely. I shared one of my hashbrowns with her.

As we finished eating, I brought up what our plan was. I didn't want her to have to drive me all the way home when we were both so tired. She entirely discounted the possibility of me getting public transport.

Somewhat awkwardly, I asked if I could crash at her place for a bit, just until we'd both had a bit more sleep.

(Because, y'know. God forbid I ask earnestly.)

She agreed this was the best plan. I was quite happy at the idea of spending a lil more time together, rather than going home to an empty house.

We drove back to her place. I had a quick shower, and then we had a nap for a few hours, cozy in her bed. She asked her own definitely-not-earnest question, which I have to admit was one of the sleepy highlights of the day (although not the only one!)

After the nap, I asked what she was doing for the rest of the day. Turns out she had some errands to run, and if I wanted, I was welcome to come along before she dropped me home afterwards.

Of course I was happy about this plan.

- - - - -

We got to the city. First stop was to pick up some fun computer parts, and then a short walk back to the car to drop them off. I didn't really know anything about the parts in question, but it was nice to be there and give her a outlet to ramble and think about it.

Then we got lunch, which she has once again already talked about elsewhere, so there's not much I need to add. I agree though - the dumplings were really good. While we were eating, we spent a little while talking about our two overseas people, and how we felt about them. Again, the symmetry was nice. It made me happy.

The rest of the day I'm gonna skim through a little, or else I'll be here forever rambling about all the little moments I enjoyed - but here's the rest of the highlights:

It was a good day.

- - - - -

When we got back to my place, the plan was meant to be that she would come inside to grab a couple items she'd forgotten the night before, and then head home herself.

Somehow, we ended up laying on the bed upstairs together instead, not really interacting, just existing.

Eventually she suggested we watch a movie. I thought this was good. I was happy.

The movie was entertaining, and I wrote a review of it today :3

We did get very cozy under a blankie together, but we didn't cuddle this time. We sat for a while afterwards, discussing what we thought of the movie. I think I somehow did okay in that particular interaction, despite being majorly out my depth talking about film.

I think this was perfect.

She stayed a while longer, and we just talked. About the last few months, about our respective puppies and how much we adored them, about some messages that made us particularly happy. It was lovely, just to talk.

Alas, she eventually had to leave. I walked outside with her, and we hugged goodbye, and I thought about how it reminded me of the first hug we ever shared, also as a goodbye, months and months ago, equally long and warm and content.

She drove home. I went inside. I meant to do some other things that night, but mostly I was so sooo eepy, and I eventually passed out by accident.

- - - - -

The most notable thing here for me is just that I didn't expect any of this.

Finding time to hang out together recently has been tough - I've asked whenever I feel like I can, trying not to be overbearing, and I've always understood when the response has been, "I'm really tired from work, maybe another time?"

That's not to say I wasn't sad about it too. I miss my friends. I wanna spend time together.

But really, I just feel incredibly grateful. I thought yesterday was going to be a short affair, dropping off people at the airport and then going home to be some kind of alone and probably-depressed.

I couldn't have been more wrong. And I'm really really happy about it.

I don't hold any expectations. Maybe we hang out some more this week while our dogs are away, or... maybe we don't. Either way, we've definitely been talking a bit more than usual. It's nice. I'll be happy either way, I think.

I'm just happy. And I wanted to share that - with the friend who might read this, with the rest of my little family, with whoever happens to wander past.

Happiness is worth celebrating, and happiness with friends even moreso.

💚💚💜💜