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almost 3am and i cant sleep. meant to be leaving for the airport at 6, so thats not a great sign.
i have tried. i've been laying here over an hour. i did breathing exercises and everything.
there's just so much going on in my head. not even bad things - honestly, the opposite. contrary to recent trends, my mind is mostly occupied by hopes, wishes, little daydreams, the sort built partly from fantasy and partly from pleasant nostalgia.
its not a bad thing to be kept awake by, at the very least.
it does feel a little disjointed, given everything thats happened recently. like i'm not quite lined up correctly with reality. i fear coming across horribly insincere, maybe delusional.
i nearly fell asleep thinking about what the next paragraph should be, so maybe its finally time.
i think... even if i seem delusional, i'd rather be happy. i wanna love earnestly, the way i see others doing.
we'll see where it takes us.