127 - rain
all week i've felt kinda wrong
trying to hold something in
exhausted without really recognising it, hoping that if i dont, nobody else will either
trying to show up when people need it
friends, work, housemates
i dont know if they needed it. but i hate the idea of not being there, if they did
better to play it safe
all week i havent been able to cry, feeling like i need to, not sure exactly what i'm grieving
i've had weird, uncomfortable dreams every night this week. about things that were never real
today i woke up and it was raining
i went outside, looked at the sky,
and suddenly i couldnt stop crying
does that mean anything? was the sky feeling caged all week too?
i dont know