Distraction

15th May, 2025

Writing a real short entry tonight I hope, just cause I need a distraction from Unreal Engine scripting for 5 minutes while I wait for the kettle to boil and glorious coffee to appear.

I've tried a bunch of times recently to write posts about art. At least one and a half of them are still sitting in my drafts, waiting for me to update them so they make sense in the current context of my life.

It's not that deep though, really.

I enjoy creating things. To suddenly change tone, I've always fallen into the category of people who feel life is rather pointless. This isn't... a bad thing? It's just how it is. I've never known an overarching purpose, a driving reason to continue being and acting and living and striving towards anything. I'm just here, it seems to me that most people are just here.

If you want a purpose, you have to make it yourself. And so I guess that 'making', creating, is the purpose, as far as there is one at all.

Last night I wrote some short fiction for the first time in... ages, and now my head is spinning with ideas for where I want to take it. I'm excited!

Tonight I'm crunching out the final components of the prototype game I'm making for my diploma, and I'm polishing it far more than is really necessary because I want to create something nice.

I have half a dozen other little projects sitting around - crochet, woodcarving, painting, sewing, other writing and programming ideas halfway (or much less, usually) to fruition.

I want to learn to play drums and bass guitar. I wanna tell stories with my friends. I wanna draw all over my girlfriend's arms with sharpie and write poetry on her skin.

This makes me happy. Hopefully, it sometimes makes the people around me happy too.

That's what art is.

Anyway, right now my purpose is to go make coffee and copy+paste a bunch of virtual walls into a level. Toodles!

💚💚