It really is just always everything all the time I guess 🐝

streak

15th Jul, 2025

ANIMA! - Streaks

I don't really understand what this song is about. my ex introduced me to it. it's fine I guess.

🐝

The post isn't really about that song or anything. I just thought of it when I wrote the title, and it's something to listen to on repeat a couple times until I finish this.

i have three other close friends who write stuff on here.

one of them writes with a mentality i don't really understand. one of them writes with elongated, complex metaphors that i often dont understand. one of them just... writes stuff that i frequently don't understand, for fun and esoteric reasons.

i think thats fine though? understanding is often overrated, and it's always temporary.

though, it does make me wonder if anyone understands what i'm trying to write.

I suppose not. that's fine though.

this post also isn't really about its title. but I've already written (and since pseudo-obliterated) the post called 'understanding', so the title can stay.

🐝

today I went to a drum lesson.

it was fucking fun. when I walked in, the guy asked me how I'd been doing recently.

I replied, "Well, I'm hoping that drumming will be cathartic. Let's leave it at that."

It was.

I spent a little while just doing... I suppose the drum equivalent of scales, single strokes and double strokes on various different pieces of the kit, seeing if I could keep a rhythm while I was being talked at, sometimes even managing to talk back.

and I did.

then I learnt a couple of the underlying beats that are common in jazz, which I respectively think of as "ting-ting-tating-ting", and "tating-ting-tating-ting-ting".

I know. I'm so eloquent and stuff.

then I fucked around!! I played some kinda basic rock beat (1-2-3-4 on high hat, snare on 1, kick drum on 3, sometimes fuck around and do snare-snare-kick-4). The guy picked up a bass guitar and started jamming along, which was both very fun and also immensely helped me regain a rhythm every time I inevitably dropped three beats in a row.

and then I worked those two things together in a truly haphazard and EXTREMELY fun cacaphony of fucking around. just getting the feel of what sounds stuff makes when I hit it, y'know?

I really like drumming.

Matt seems like the kinda guy to hand out compliments like they're a malteasers family share bag, but nevertheless it was nice to be complimented.

Apparently I hold a rhythm really well for someone who's just started this. Apparently I 'have the swing down already', whatever that means (I'm a bit suss of that one). Apparently the way I fuck around and start experimenting about 3.5 seconds after being given a very specific exercise to do is endearing and going to lend itself very naturally to jazz (which I suspect is true, but im not sure is a good thing).

I dunno if I really earned any of that, or if the guy just has a business model around making people feel good about music so they keep coming back. Maybe it's both.

doesn't matter, I guess. Eventually I'll get my own kit and find out from less biased sources, perhaps.

🐝

I dunno what tomorrow is going to be like. doesnt really matter.

i can't even say that its all blending together, cause that would require remembering more of it I think. I've always wondered if it's normal to not be able to remember what you did yesterday without having to sit down for several minutes and focus.

i really wish my therapist had an opening sooner than the 8th of August.

🐝

Once upon a time, I listened to this song on repeat while sitting in an airport for several hours. Toronto, I think, or possibly Los Angeles.

It sounded different then. a lot of songs did.

I'd really like to travel again.